Glossary

The Ultimate Screenplay Format Reference

then we see ...

There are lengthy, often emotional discussions going on as to whether you could or should use ‘we see’ in your script or not. Read this blog article if you want to see some of the arguments: Top Ten Format Mistakes.

Those that are against it say it’s a weak way of describing what happens. And that it’s redundant, because you anyway should write only what can be filmed and then seen. So, of course, we see - why mention it.

Indeed, often ‘we see’ can simply be dropped from the narrative without causing any damage:
 

We see a huge, white bird fly across the complex and settle
on the temple.
 

Or you could write:
 

A huge, white bird flies across the complex and settles on
the temple.
 

The second version actually feels more dynamic. Right? And it’s a few letters shorter. That’s good.

Does this settle the issue? Not really.

The fact is that many people love to write it, don’t mind to read it, some studios allegedly insist that writers use it. And a lot of professional scripts use ‘we see’, sometimes extensively.

What now? Some professional readers don’t seem to mind, but why offend the one reader and might get your script and does mind? There’s no known good reason to risk that. Right?

So, if the destiny of your script depends on the opinion of a reader, the best advice is: No matter what they tell you, avoid ‘We see’ like the plague. If somebody requests it, use it enthusiastically.

The same goes for - or rather against any use of the word ‘we’ in narrative. Pros don’t seem to mind using it. Here an excerpt from a shooting script of The Big Lebowski:
 

We are floating up a steep scrubby slope. We hear male
voices gently singing “Tumbling Tumbleweeds” and a deep, affable, Western-accented voice--Sam Elliot’s, perhaps:

...

We top the rise and the smoggy vastness of Los Angeles at twilight stretches out before us.

...

It is late, the supermarket all but deserted.  We are tracking in on a fortyish man in Bermuda shorts and sunglasses at the dairy case.  He is the Dude.
 

Doesn’t read too shabby, I find. The script, however, is written by Ethan and Joel Coen who also made the movie. Howver, if your script depends on someone else’s approval, why risk the rejection?

The argument of being weak writing is also brought against the word ‘then’. Indeed it seems to weaken the description. Or not:
 

Jake takes the bat from the locker, then dashes out the
door.
 

‘Then’ is not required, because the context makes the sequence of events obvious. What about the following?
 

Jake takes the bat from the locker, dashes out the door.
 

The second version lacks nothing that the first one has and it’s even shorter. Shorter is better.

Whatever you decide, The Screenwriter’s Bible advises against the use of ‘we see’ and ‘then’.

Author’s Intrusions

Intrusions are generally bad, so don’t intrude. Do it only if you must, if something needs to be clarified and it can’t be done through dialog or visually written narrative. Intrusion’s interrupt the reading flow and have the reader ask who you think you are. Intrusions are not part of a writer’s voice. They rarely are required.

The note is a formal way of author’s intrusion. Non-visual portions of narrative, also known as unfilmables, feel like it, too. Don’t tell a reader what you think or what a character thinks. Do nothing that could disrupt the movie that the reader (hopefully) sees in his mind, told by visual narrative and fresh, effective dialog.

That said, Trottier quotes Shane Black who wrote in The Last Boy Scout: “Remember Jimmy’s friend Henry, who we met briefly near the opening of the film? Of course you do, you’re a highly paid reader or development executive.”

Needless to say, but just in case: Trottier quotes this as an example of what unproduced screenwriters should not do.